Dear German traveler

You are the one who is doing everything right: you wear the clothes, you speak the language (at least a little), you know where to find the cheapest places to eat, drink and shop, you read your guidebook cover to cover ( not just any guidebook of course, but the one for “independent travelers” that is full of “Geheimtipps”) and you are a well prepared and charming travel companion – to anyone except people like me – why? Because I’m German too and if you wanted to meet me you could have stayed at home altogether.
We’ll thats not entirely correct. If we’d be stuck in the middle of nowhere with nothing interesting to do and no one else around, we’d talk. About what? About people like us: the stupid Germans who are everywhere these days “if I wanted to speak my own language the whole time I could just as well have stayed at home” you say with a disgusted look on your face and pick a crumb of black bread (“there is this German bakery just around the corner and I really can’t live with that soft white stuff they call bread around here”) off your totally appropriate but likewise unattractive zip off pants.
While I get ready for a response that will in no way reveal that I looked at my guidebook exactly two times, already got lost a couple of times because I looked at the map wrong and are only traveling for a month instead of a whole year (“if you don’t travel for at least three month you can just as well stay at home altogether”, “a month? That’s not worth leaving home for!”) you lose interest in our conversation because A: someone from an “interesting” country just walked in, or B: you really have to prepare for the very special bush hike you are doing tomorrow (you booked in advance like the guidebook told you to do).
I go to my room, put on my already slightly dirty jeans and walk out on the street to ask someone where to find the next restaurant. You wave behind me with your guidebook shouting “I can tell you where to go!”
“If I knew everything before even getting on a plane I could just as well stay at home altogether” I respond.IMG_0466.JPG


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